This is it

It’s personal. This year.

It’s all about knowing.

Yes. That’s the word for 2020.

Knowing.

The last decade began with me not knowing myself. Actually, I had no idea that I didn’t know myself. If you had asked me back then, I would have denied it quite vehemently. I would’ve said I know exactly who I am, what I wanted – right from my life to who I wanted to spend it with.

Then the rest of the decade proved me wrong. I didn’t know anything.

All I know is I know nothing.

Socrates

I lived through denials and heartbreaks. I lived through my mom surviving cancer. I lived through losing my grandparents. I lived through failed relationships and dreams come true. I lived through losing myself, and finding me.

And that’s how I came to know awareness.

It was all because I was stripped off of all my layers of knowing. I came to unlearn things I once thought I knew so well.

And that’s how I know my core – all the answers lie within myself.

I loved with all my heart, lost faith in love itself, and then discovered the different shades of it.

More importantly I learned to know love.

I started over a few times this past decade because I had a feeling, a feeling that I just knew.

Today I trust knowing it.

I learned that knowing is not just a blind belief but a dedicated journey – to really understand with an open mind.

I also learned that knowing something or someone can change, and that change is the only constant – you have to know when to.

So yes, 2020 is going to be about knowing – what I want and don’t, whether I believe or don’t, about my value and values, and my boundaries as well as those who respect them, about my ideals and what I am willing to trade off for them, about giving more and knowing when to let go.

Most importantly, about knowing that all I have to do is share – my voice, my strengths, even my weaknesses, but also my feelings, and hopes, and fears – and above all share responsibility, of what is needed from me and by me.

2020 is about knowing better.

I may have started out not knowing this, but today I know – knowing is believing – in myself and my conviction.

Knowing is deep within me – in the way I feel and how I make others feel.

Knowing is doing the right thing – even when it’s not the easy thing.

Knowing is being true to myself – also being fair to myself.

Knowing is not the first step – it comes after observing and questioning, sometimes unlearning too.

Knowing comes from paying attention to what’s around you and within – be open to it, to life and all it’s surprises.

Knowing only comes to an open mind – and sometimes knowing what you want only comes from knowing what you don’t.

Knowing can come from a thought, an act, a feeling, a touch, a glimpse – or it can come from the absence of them.

Knowing is a choice – and sometimes it is making one.

Knowing is not having all the answers but the courage to find them – it’s not about the outcome but knowing that the journey will bring you knowledge greater than it.

Knowing that with great knowledge comes great power.

When you know the greater truths and you speak them, people will seldom believe you – know this.

You will not convince everyone and that will make you feel uncomfortable, but don’t mistake that for being an imposter – know this.

Know when to speak your truth and choose when not to, there is great power in this ability – know this.

When you follow your heart and do the right thing, there should be no fear – know this.

Knowing will set you free.

Because knowing is not only necessary, it is also sufficient.

Knowing is a continuous dialog – with yourself, your heart, but mainly your mind – the place where you know your why.

And those who have a why to live for, can bear with almost any how.

This is it.

Know this.

And you will know yourself.