India, May 2018 Two and a half years later, here I was in the land where my roots are. Many more versions of me later, here I was in the city where I was a misfit. Exponential opportunities of growth later, here I was where everything was the same and different all at once. Oddly, it still was one thing for me - this homecoming.
In all the years that I’ve been away from “home”, I’ve never felt more at home in Brooklyn – I’d found myself, my place.
I had visited India only twice, both in very different mindsets, and yet never the right one.
This time, it was different.
It’s funny how we feel that everything around us has suddenly changed when in reality all that it is, is a little shift in our own perspective.
On this journey of self-awareness I had come full circle from feeling lost with no sense of belonging, to a sense of purpose and belonging anywhere.
I had so much past distress that I was holding on to, distress which I used as an excuse to hate the very city where I grew up in, distress that I personified to retaliate against, distress caused by people who didn’t really matter, distress that an older version of me thrived on. But this time, I was different. And nothing else mattered.
I was going home – to the city I grew up in, to the home that hosts my childhood memories, to my parents who are my everything – I was going home, for one of my best friend’s wedding!
It was an emotional 2 weeks, something I had anticipated but not really prepared for. Spending time with my parents in my home, experiencing the same city and people in a new light, feeling grateful for all the opportunities that have changed my life since I moved out, being a part of the wedding festivities, seeing my friend embark upon a new life stage, all this while my best girls right there with me – and realizing in that instance how blessed I am (and thinking how!)
Right there among all these feelings of nostalgia and gratitude I realized that I had come a long long way and I have so much further to go. But for now all that mattered was this feeling, and it was all I needed, this homecoming ’18.
This homecoming it was different /
As real as it was /
It was a change in reality /
Family as I know it there /
My heart it melts with those moments heartfelt /
Nostalgia was the overall mood /
Yet some ties so easily cut loose /
A new perspective, deeper it’s grown /
Those roots they have so much to show /
A whirlwind of emotions I feel /
Gratitude, empathy a great deal /
This homecoming felt a lot more real /
I bring it back with me to my new world //