Cutting Ties

Every year around this time, I, as I’m sure many of you, reflect on the year that’s gone by – the good, bad, ugly, and undoubtedly amazing!

This year has been special for one too many reasons. As fluid as it’s been, I have more than solid reason to say it has, by far, been the best year of my life! The most important reason being, well me.

My very first year on the self-awareness journey. I’ve never felt more at peace. (Maybe this thought deserves a post of its own, stay tuned!)

Today, I’m here to use this platform, my words, once again to help me find closure, clear my head as I take on 2018 (which, again, I have solid reason to believe will a transformative one for me.)

Every year end we evaluate the year gone by, make new resolutions, new decisions, new changes, hoping to make the new year a little better, a little happier, even just a little more.

Me, I treat each day as a new one, but every year end, I use this time to take strides in making changes I’ve been putting off, voluntarily or not.

Last year I committed to writing more, writing consistently, and that was the best decision I held myself accountable (to Michael) for!

What’s it going to be this year? Cutting ties. As antithetic as it may seem to last year, I am confident it will be equally rewarding.

Most of us are afraid of change, change usually means something new, unfamiliar, uncertain. But sometimes change simply means cutting ties with something old, familiar, yet certainly not good for you. So, this year has been all about facing my fears, acceptance, moving on and forward in a positive way.

I know I have a lot of new changes ahead of me, and to really be able to explore their potential, I first need to make changes – to some old habits, places, relationships, expectations in my life.

Cutting ties – it isn’t always a bad thing, in fact it may just be making way for something better. Whether the sentiment is as strong as “I don’t want anything to do with you” or a milder one of “I think it’s time to move on” – it’s what you make of it. After all you should be doing this for your growth.

I say this a lot and I really do mean it – the only constant is change. If you aren’t evolving, you are simply alive, not living.

Change, it’s sometimes good sometimes bad. But even the bad can be good, if only you look at it that way. Change is what is meant to happen. No matter what you can’t stop it. If you fight it hard enough you’ll get caught up in chains, and not change.

As I write these words I’m reiterating to myself, “This is it – your closure, go get it. It’s ok to change. It’s ok to not want the same things you did 6 years, months, weeks, or even hours ago. It’s ok to not like the same music, or clothes, or colors. It’s also ok to accept those friendships that were your life aren’t the same anymore, that you’re not on the same page. Who you were doesn’t have to be who you are. And if you are not who you used to be, it’s ok that it changes the way your life looks – where you are, what you do, what you want, or even who is in your life. Most importantly, you have to embrace it, this change. If you are true to yourself, in the end, it’s all that matters. Be good, be you, let go of everything else.”

Maybe you’re not who you used to be or maybe just who I thought to be

Maybe you’re not good for me, or maybe just not good enough for me

Maybe I was settling all this while, fighting a battle for us when you were the enemy

Or maybe you were everything you could be, but I need more so I need to leave

Maybe I just have to move on, or maybe you brought all of this on

Maybe you’ll always be a part of me, or maybe you’ll just fade into my history

Maybe you are liberating me, or maybe I’m breaking away from who I used to be

To you, to us, to me, maybe

But if there’s one thing I know though, I’ve grown through it all to be more

More me, more real, more present in authenticity

And so the time has come to cut some of those past ties

Some for the time being, some more permanently

To what or whom I write this to – a part of it for one, another for another – at this point it doesn’t matter. What matters is that my words are out there, I have said my piece.

Cutting ties – it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it means making way for something better, and I for one, know there is a lot of that coming my way. How? Because I am going towards it, cutting ties that stifle my growth, my evolution, and embracing a change that feels true to me.