Fall’in

Fallin’ in love now
Losing control now…

Another season stumbles into a new fall.

Fall – one of my favorite seasons, one of my favorite times of the year.

There’s something about entering fall that always sets up me into this contemplative mood.

The year almost closing, yet a whole new quarter is still to begin.
So many things to achieve, yet so many things accomplished.
So many goals reached, so many plans undone, so many unexpected turns, yet we’re still walking on.

I use this as a good time for a health check, and not just physical.

What is it that you want? What have you done to achieve it? What will you do?

These past few days I’ve experienced a whirlwind of thoughts, some rude awakenings, and some profound thoughts.

“You can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which you are ceaselessly striving.” – Paul Kalanithi

I’ve always been this person, one who wants to do a million things, and do them all at once. If I’m being fully honest, that has led to more frustration than satisfaction. After prolonged thought on this I have come to realize that this, this intent to do so many things, as pure and good as it is,it isn’t always necessarily accompanied by the right drive or direction. And this scattered energy, leaves me fully spent, emotionally and mentally, with pressures and disappointments that I lay on myself.

A huge part of my self-growth has been becoming aware of where my strengths lie, and what my weaknesses are. That being said, recognizing my own drawbacks, in personality or process, are my first step towards overcoming them.

So come fall, I’m taking on a new approach, one that will allow me to pursue many different things without the false pressures and misdirections.

How? I plan to set a goal for the month, that goal being a task, a hobby, a passion, that I want to attempt, pursue, or simply get done. This goal will fit right into my daily mindset, my daily routine, or work, school, and other crucial aspects of my life. The thought behind this is pretty simple, and I’m hoping that is why it will work for me – Nothing brings me crashing down than not being able to keep my word. Holding myself accountable to one tangible goals among the many other acts of life, will give me the time and headspace to cater to all of this in way that I can be all in, give it my 100%. Because if you’re not all in, why be there at all!

As I write this, I realize how this is actually perfect for someone like me – someone who needs constant challenging – bifurcating my efforts will always have one part of me that is starting over, learning, growing, in a way that challenges me to stay ahead, stay grateful.

As I try to embark upon yet another new journey, in yet another new season, I’m going in more mindful, more appreciative (of the smaller joys like spending quality time with my parents who are currently visiting me), more aware, and most importantly, more determined.

Oh Fall! We’ve come so far, with so much more ahead to go…