What is it about feelings that they can be just as ambiguous as insinuating?
Signals. Different then and now. Different every time.
The look. The like.
The touch. The text.
The invitation. The request.
The anticipation. The acceptance.
The validation. The truth.
I’ve been meaning to write more about feelings, you know the deeply emotional, real ones? It’s a challenge I need to take on. As comfortable as I am in the vulnerability of my experiences and thoughts, I am still quite the opposite when it comes my feelings.
Feel, they said. It’s not too late to feel again. It will bring you back, as though you never left.
Except I don’t want to expect, I don’t want to let others in.
Come into my life, just not into my heart.
I have nothing to hide, everything to share but my feelings.
Isn’t that a feeling?
Feel, they said. But did I ever stop?
As abstract as this post is, there are more such to come. A new journey down this road of feelings – for myself, for others, of others.
I am hitting pause on some things in my life, only to play some new series. Yes, series. Maybe that’s what these will be. A series of unedited feelings – of the known and unknown, of the conscious and the unconscious.
The more I think of what I want to convey through my stories, the more I see how it has so much to do with the way we relate to one another. And the first step to realizing that, for me, is to get in touch with that ambiguously insinuating feeling.
Something. Sometime. Maybe.