On being enough

I’m not.
Just not enough.
Not talented.
Not knowledgeable.
Not even informed.
Not determined.
Not disciplined.
Not working hard enough.
Not capable.
Not deserving.
Not worthy enough.
Not good.
I’m not even good enough.

This constant voice in my head.
This is it.
It has to be.
It’s enough.
To make me believe.
I’m not enough.
No not even good enough.

A limiting belief.
A self-fulfilling prophecy.
A blindfold.
A bias, confirming.

The visa that didn’t work out.
The toxic job (I chose).
The friend who cut me off.
The unexpected loss I bore.

The grief I suppressed.
The emotional outbursts.
I can’t even deal with my own feelings. Huh.

Damaged goods.
A badge I wore.

I’m broken, I’d say.
Before you could break me anymore.

I can’t, I’d doubt.
Even before giving it a go.

I don’t have what it takes.
Every time I’d believe it some more.

But darling you can.
You’re such a good person, I’d hear.

I want to believe you, I’d say.
And dismiss it right away.

I’m not.
Not enough.
Nothing I do.
As a daughter.
Or a sister or friend.
Nor a partner nor person.
Certainly not for my self.
Never good.
Just never enough.
Never good enough.

The work I do.
No matter how good you tell me too.
I don’t believe you.
Not nearly enough.

The words I say.
Or my actions along the way.
Nor the choices I make.
Or all the effort I take.
Not enough, I say.
I could never be.

Stop right there.
Now enough.
You are.

This story you say.
The one where you’re not enough ever, in any way.
Where is the truth in there?

Is there any?
Not nearly enough.
Not even a little.

You want the truth.
It’s right here in front of you.
In the life you’ve lived.
And it tells a different story.
Of the reality.

Now isn’t that enough?

How far you’ve come.
Facing adversities all along.
Making the most.
Giving it your all.
Never saying “I give up, that’s enough!”

Not even the mistakes you made.
Or the setbacks you faced.
No they didn’t stop you much.
You got back right up.

The lives you went on to touch.
With the kindness inside of your heart.
Spreading a moment of joy.
Some relief, if not much.
That was enough.
To make way for a ray.
Of hope.
Yes, there is a way.

Through broken hearts and despair.
You showed up for yourself everyday.
In different ways.
You proved you were enough.
To make it through.
No matter what the Universe had in store for you.

All along you tried.
To know.
To grow.
To be there.
To care.
Just a little bit.
Just enough.
For the world to know.
The strength of your core.
Filled with courage and compassion.
To go through life.
One step at a time.
To take it all on.
Steady and slow.

You’ve been through a lot.
Definitely enough.
To now believe.
A different belief.

A new definition.
Of what’s good.
What’s enough.

That’s good enough.
To make a new start.
And face it all.

Face those feelings.
Make space for them now.
And answer your heart’s call.

Know you have the freedom to choose.
And you’ll survive even when it feels like you’ll lose.

Have faith and make a start.
Be the person your heart knows you are.

Follow it along.
Cheer yourself on.
Be proud.
And be real.
In all your flaws and fears.
You’re here.
Just see for yourself.
See yourself.
Through the same eyes.
With which you see others.
You’re good.
It’s all good.
And that’s enough.

Yes, it is.
It is enough.
Yes, I am good.
I’m good.
am enough.

P.S. Incredibly grateful to iconic women like Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka for their extraordinary strength to say that’s enough, and showing the world it is ok to choose yourself.

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